The Adventures of Boxboy Nay, MAN!
by Shoelia Westhoff
Summary: What happens when the people whom you thought were your friends gag you and put you in a box.
1. Inside and Out of the Box

﻿ 

Disclaimer: I did not invent Harry Potter. I'd be mightely rich if I did though. Ha! Dream on.

* * *

"But James I'm Bored. But James I'm Bored. But James I'm Bored." were the words constantly exiting from the mouth of one Sirius Black in the tune of a song he had made up on the spot. 

"Oh how happy I will be when we get off this train." groaned my other best friend Remus John Lupin.

"I'm hungry where's the trolley." complained my other friend who I'm yet to realise why he's my best friend. Peter Pettigrew.

"But James I'm Bored. But James I'm Bored. But James I'm Bored." Sirius continued to sing now adding in his own little unique dance movements.

"Sirius, SHUT UP!" Remus yelled looking as if he would have given anything to throw him out the window.

"But James I'm Bored. But James I'm Bored. But James I'm Bored." continued the idiot I knew only too well.

"SIRIUS I SWEAR ON JAMES'S LIFE IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP THERE WILL BE SEVERE CONSEQUENCES!" shrieked Remus

"Wow, did you guys know that Severus and severe sound alike?" It was then we all turned to look at him.

"Peter."

"Yes Remus?"

"We had that conversation 3 minutes ago."

"Oh right." he said turning his head to the corridoor looking for the food trolley.

"Thick head!" Sirius muttered before continuing to sing. "But James I'm Bored. But James I'm Bored. But James I'm Bored."

"THAT IS IT SIRIUS MAY I REMIND YOU I SWORE ON JAMES'S LIFE!"

Now you're probably wondering why I'm not answering my idiot friend. Or why I wasn't objecting to Remus swearing on my life. Or why for the first time, almost, ever I didn't insult Peter when I had the chance. One simple answer to that. I can't.

I have a silencing charm on me, a gag in my mouth; I'm tied up in a straight jacket and shoved in an open box in the middle of the floor. Why I hear you asking? Well...lets just say I seem to talk about one Miss Lily Evans just a tad too much.

Remus then bent over and smiled at me.

"I'm sorry dear boy but I'm afraid seeing as I swore on your life and Sirius is _still singing _I am forced to punish you more."

And at that moment I was hit with a tickling charm. Oh what I would have given to kill Remus right there and then, or even get off the train as Remus has said earlier. Simple reason; IM HIGHLY TICKLISH!

I was showering my cheeks with tears, tears that streamed down my face like no other potion forward/slash liquid seen forward/slash drunk before.

As Sirius's song continued Remus to lose his sanity and as Peter continually groaned along with his stomach and as my hopes were at all time low of having friends that were alive this year the door of the compartment opened to reveal my lovely, my beautiful, my spiffing – and possibly the last person I wanted to see in the world – Lily Evans.

She looked at me and I wanted to hug her just to hear to her squeal in disgust. Then again I also felt like digging a hole in the ground with my toe and burying myself in it.

"Good Gravy." she stated looking at the scene before her. Remus on top of Sirius strangling him to death with the school tie, Peter who was slowly devouring his hand of which he has tried miserably to fit wholly into his mouth and me giggling senseless with a gag, and a straightjacket placed in a box. But as she said that everything paused. It was like those movies you see when then at that moment something dramatic happens, someone dies, someone snogs, or even perhaps someone tried to swallow a Barbie. Even the tickling charm paused to look and gaze at Lily. Don't ask how charms can look. But because I gave it personification, it now can.

"What have you done to him?" she asked as Remus got off Sirius and Sirius fixed his tie and as Peter wiped the saliva off his hand onto his robes. She used her wand and got rid of the box to which I was captive and looked at me with disgust. "We're not even off the train and yet you have sunk to an all time low. What will happen to our Head Boy?"

She paused to think then seemed quite pleased with herself.

"Actually that's not a bad idea we could get a better Head Boy, guys continue strangling Potter." Her beautiful mouth because of the tears in my eyes looked like the giant peach out of James and the Giant Peach...actually now THAT isn't a bad idea!

Ahahah do you get it! Me and the peach! Ahaha her lips! Ahahaha --

They took the charm off, the gag and all of the aforementioned implements of pains away to reveal me still looking a bit worse for wear.

I still had not gotten over my little joke. You know, me and the peach (AHAHAH)...hehe I'm a clever one aren't I? Anyway, because they didn't hear my brilliant joke (aha) I was just lying on the floor with tears in my eyes laughing in hysterics.

The room glared at me. The walls glared at me. The windowpanes glared at me. Even the chairs glared at me as I laughed. Then I realised there were people in the room and they were glaring at me too!

Peaches spoke first.

"You guys are my idols. I've been trying to drive him mad for, what is it? Six whole years and you lot managed to drive him mad in 3 hours! I salute you."

I leapt up clearly not happy with being labelled 'He-who-must-not-be-named-for-he-went-mad-in-a-box' as I could see where it was going. How you ask? Well because I'm brilliant...and my heads just a tad inflated...actually more than inflated it resembles a hot air balloon but you can't blame a hot, sexy, intelligent, quidditch-star-of-the-millenium-, droolable, dandy-

"Why did you guys put him in a box?" Peaches asked looking extremely disgusted at the adored look on my face. The look I made when thinking about myself.

"Well actually thats a fascinating story!" said Sirius with glee.

Crud.

"Actually it's more than _fascinating_!" added Remus.

Double Crud.

"It's infact a highly contagious form of chicken pox," said Peter.

Triple Cr-- what the?

Everyone turned to Peter.

"Stop quoting me I know I'm brilliant and all but that was three minutes ago." yawned Sirius admiring his nails.

"Moving right along...It's AMUSING!" continued Remus.

"INCANDIFEROUS!" sang Sirius.

"JUST TELL ME YELLED THE GIRL WHO DOESN'T WANT TO BE HERE!" yelled Peaches.

"Well it's quite a long story, why don't you sit down, see--" began Sirius but I'm too quick for my bestest buddy so I interrupted him.

"--ing that we all smell funny I think it best you disappear round the corner and out the window, to a little place I like to call home, among the gumtrees, with lots of peach trees, with a kangaroo or a – ahahah- PEACH OR TWO AHAH!"

"Mate that's not how it goes. It's Give me a home among the gum trees, with lots of Plum trees--" Sirius began as Remus groaned for he has started singing again.

"Yes, and you should definitely leave --" I said knowing the conversation would go back to me being the crazy box boy. Nay! _Man_.

"-- with a sheep or two and a kangaroo --" However his singing was droned out by Remus who was standing there sockless having just vigorously placed his socks in Sirius's wide-open mouth.

"Well now that he has finally stopped. Back to why --" Remus started, but I'm too smart for him as well AHA.

"-- you should be in a meeting, seeing as your busy Head Girl and all." I yelled over both Sirius who had spat out Remus's socks and Remus who was starting the story.

I pushed Lily out of the room by her hips and slammed the door in her face.

There was silence broken by a "clothesline out the back and a veranda out the front with an old rocking chair." Sirius just never stops.

"She's still there isn't she?" I asked watching Remus nod, even though I already knew the answer. What you may ask possessed me to know the answer? You should know by now, I'm brilliant! Oh and I'm Head Bo-.

Crud.

I opened the door realised why she was there. She looked a bit disgruntled and quite frankly, pissed off.

"Ah say, Evans you weren't by any chance here to get me for a meeting were you?" I asked a trying to act innocent. Which is actually very hard seeing as I knew I was 99.9 guilty. Okay fine 100 guilty.

"So there is some brain in that big head of yours! Even if it's just a little minute piece." I smiled knowing that was as close to a compliment as I was going to get.

I took Lily's hand and skipped merrily but sadly (for those of you playing at home you skip happily but with your head down as if you're mourning.) off to the lovely meeting, giving Remus and Sirius death glares as I passed down the corridor.

* * *

Authors Note: I'm afraid to say this is what happens when you put two mental Harry Potter fans in a room at 12 at night, they write odd..stuff. I think this is only worthy to be titled stuff. Perhaps even thing. Anyway this is just a mental little _thing_ my friend Miss Westhoff Herself and I wrote. Please reveiw it. It's just a one off. This will probably be a whole thing dedicated to the oddened adventures of "box boy". Whether in the story he's been box-boy or not. In other words one offs from James's point of veiw from when we've been bored at 12 o'clock at night and we've had way too much sugar. And been stuck in the same room all day watching Harry Potter movies...pointing out every single detail thats wrong. Lol anyway I'm rambling. Please reveiw this I will be mightely greatful. 

LoveShoelia xox and Miss Westhoff Herself.  
Give Snuffles Our Love (especially me, Shoelia,because I love him more)

NOTE: This is a repost. Miss Westhoff and Shoelia decided to make a joint account so that both of us get the credit for this story.


	2. Out of Pure Frustration

﻿ 

Disclaimer: Yes, Miss Westhoff and myself bought plane tickets from Sydney airport to Edinburugh, Scotland, invaded Jo's house and wrote the end of Half-Blood Prince (so careful when your reading it, it's likely to be terrrible (that's right terrible with 3 r's)), she gave us the rights to Harry Potter and the pink bonnett hidden under her pillow (hidden with teeth she had stolen from the tooth fairy), we thought it was purdy, and ... wakes up from dream "HeyCharlotte I had the strangest dream..."

Sorry Jo, all rights to you... we are just mightey jealous.

"Charlotte she has it all! Scotland, Harry Potter...nice hair?"

"Aah yes and that pink bonnett. Don't forget the pink bonnett Isabelle."

* * *

There was only one word to describe the excitement and anticipation that I felt throughout the meeting; pure boredom. 

Amos Diggory (Prefect and a bloody half) was blabbing on about something so not important. I followed in Sirius's suit and admired my nails.

Lily was looking at Amos in a new light. Like those new lava lamps that Lily always said looked like goo. I don't exactly know what goo is or a lamp or anything but that is so beside the point. At least I listen to Lily. And I don't know why Lily was looking at Amos like he was goo but it had to have something to do with the amount of shiny _Sleekeazy's _Hair Potion that was sticking to the remaining hairs on his head.

It was quite sickening to watch Lily pour over this guy. I felt like grabbing Amos's head as if it were a Quaffle and throwing it out the window as though it were in fact a Quidditch hoop.

James Potter has got the ball… he zooms through the air like there's no there yesterday… he lines up for the shot… it's perfect aiming… he shoots… he scores AND THE CROWD GOES WILD! HE CAN HEAR THE CHANTS! HEAR THEM AS THEY SAY-

"POTTER!" The hoops face turned into the beautiful Lily Evans… the crowd disappeared.

"Huh, who, what, when, where, why….how?"

"What do you think on the matter?" she looked completely satisfied that I would answer stupidly… she wishes.

"I think it's absolutely impervious that we go ahead with the plans as scheduled." I nodded. There was no way that could have been wrong.

"What plans?" she asked now smirking... evilly.

"The... plans? You know the plans to do that thing that I - ( I pointed at Remus whom I had not noticed enter the room.) -Remus suggested last fortnight."

"Last fortnight was holidays, mate?" whispered Remus

"Really? Wow funny thing that! Ah, yes I remember now remember that emergency meeting we called, Remus, to discuss the thing?" I gave Remus a desperate look that clearly said:

HHHHEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPP!

I waited. He gave me nothing. I gave him a 'cheers, mate' look and looked at Lily.

"Just 'cause you don't know what I'm talking about, Lily, geez you don't have to take it out on me!" Turning the blame on someone else; another thing I'm brilliant at.

"Huh? What- don't- what – POTTER! IN THE CORNER! NOW!"

"What? What did I do wrong?"

"CORNER NOW!"

"WHAT YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME! I'M HEAD BOY (I threw my head back and grinned at a girl a few seats over who looked as if she was a hairy toad making her fall off her chair and Lily disgusted) YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME!"

"I'M HEAD GIRL!"

"I'M HEAD BOY!"

"I'M HEAD GIRL!"

"I'M HEAD BOY!"

"I'M HEAD GIRL!"

"I'M HEAD BOY!"

"I'M HEAD GIRL!"

"I'M HEAD BOY!"

"I'M HEAD GIRL!"

"I'M HEAD BOY!"

"I'M HEAD GIRL!"

"Okay, I think we have established that you guys have heads - I mean are heads - I mean – have great power and – NEW TOPIC!"

"Only if Potter sits in the corner!"

"Fine!" I muttered half to myself; they were going to regret ever sending me to the corner, "See if I care you and your bloody corners and _Sleekeazy's _Hair Potion and the guy and the smile – MY SMILE IS BETTER, THANK YOU! – and next when I send _you_ to the corner and there's a spider I'll just NYANG NYANG!" I expressed my anger with hand puppets as they ate themselves.

"1234, 1235, 1236, 1237, 1238…"

"James?" Lily was no longer angry! A miracle but wait – did she call me James?

"Yes my love, hang on one moment I'm counting the pattern on the wall …. 1239, 1240, 1241, 1242..."

"Potter, how many times must I remind you that I AM NOT YOUR LOVE! NOW GET OUT OF THE CORNER WE NEED YOUR HEAD BOYNESS!"

"1243, 1244, you're the one that put me here!" I screamed in protest as I faced the wall and rocked back and forth with my legs crossed "…1245…"

"POTTER!"

"1246!" I yelled in response. Being childish sure is fun.

"POTTER!

"1247!"

"POTTER!"

"1742!"

"POTTER!"

"7124!"

"POTTER!"

"2471… wait a minute…GREAT NOW I'VE LOST COUNT! EVANS I'VE BEEN COUNTING THAT FOR HOURS!"

"WHILE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING ME!"

I tried to retrace where I was but it was no use, I just couldn't remember. Tears  
swelled up in my eyes; acting school sure payed off.

"YEAH, WELL... REMUS WHERE AM I?"

"Last I was listening it was… I think 23."

"That's not much help, mate."

"Yes, well there are more important things in life than counting the pattern on the wall, Prongs."

Remus indicated Lily by moving his head; she had stormed outside of the carriage room and was pacing the corridor and not-so-silently fuming.

It suddenly occurred to me how irritably annoying I was. Lovable, but annoying; like Sirius. Annoying but yet somehow you wanted to hug him…

…or so I'm told… I scratched the back of my head.

From the outside Lily was making a spectacle of herself.

"STUPID…mumble…POTTER, TREE-LIKE LEG, NECK…THING…mumble…mumble…. scream…..angry, ANGRY, Lily, not LIKING JAMES APPARENTLY, CHANGED SELF!"

People had gathered outside to see what was going on. I walked out.

I closed the door and heard Remus shout to the rest of the prefects "All right20 sickles says Lily beats him to a pulp!"

How rude! I'll so win this!

Sniff sniff I thought he was my friend!

"Lily, darling, love, you're causing a scene." I tried to calm her down as she pushed people walking past.

"STOP CALLING ME LOVE! DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE FACE OF LOVE!" she bared her teeth, eyes blood shot and scary.

"Ummm…..yes?"

She screamed.

"Uh, okay… you have the face (Lily continued pacing) only a mother could love?"

I held an instant shield of hands up against my face. Not fast enough.

SLAP

"YOU – YOU - YOU RUDE, CRUDE, UNPREDICTABLE, SNOBBISH, IRRITATING, GOOD-LOOKING-BOY!" She stopped realising what she'd said…also watching the very happy look on my face.

Her face had turned purple.

"Minus the last one."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"YES!"

"Really?"

"NO – YES - WHATEVER!"

I smiled.

"You think I'm good looking!"

"NO I DON'T!"

"You think I'm purdy!" I put my shoulder to me chin.

"No I don't!"

"Oh, come on we all know I am."

"WHAT? YOU'RE -"

"Extremely good looking?" I added usefully.

"Y- NO! NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST!"

I was definently getting somewhere. Until she stormed off with her hands in the air out of pure frustration. Then Sirius jumped out of no-where making me jump.

"Well, that went well." I said calmly.

He too stormed off with his hands in the air out of pure frustration muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "Boys!"

"UGH, WHY TODAY? TODAY OF ALL DAYS WHEN I FINALLY FELT MY HAIR WAS DOING WONDERS FOR ME!" I stormed off (not knowing where I was going) with my hands in the air out of pure frustration.

* * *

Author's Note: GREETINGS MY FELLOW PUMPKINS! Yes okay, it's New Years Eve and we are high. Again. Sorry for the disclaimer but the disclaimers around here are so boring "I don't own harry potter" "Harry potter doesn't own me" "Harry Potter doesn't own Harry Potter" "Nothing comes between me and Harry Potter" all this boring stuff. Sorry very high. I got POA for Chrissy though that was great. Anyhoo. Charlotte's dog smells. Nayway please reveiw. Again its classified as thing. 

This is not a proper story by the way well it is it has like a plot n stuff... or maybe not a plot...we'll think of that as we go along but don't expect me to update as Charlotte and I live in different places.

Reveiw lovies.

LoveShoelia and Miss Westhoff Herself  
Give Snuffles our love

P.S. To Jo Rowling who will never read this: WE KNOW ABOUT YOUR BONNETT! BEWARE!

NOTE: Even if you have already reveiwed this story, please do it again. Because we moved it our reveiws are not shown. Chapter One had 11 reveiws and Chapter Two had 20.

We are currently working on the next chapter so please don't harrass us o)... but gentle harrassment is welcome.


	3. Superheroes and their Mysteries

Disclaimer: As far as I'm aware everything in this chapter is our idea and what not. Of course the whole concept of Harry Potter is Joanne Rowling's but I'll tell you what's not Jo's? MY EARLOBE! TAKE THAT YOU CHICKEN EATING BIRDS.

What? okay I'd like to apologise. Theres something about being stuck in a room and then being forced to write that send me and slightly us insane.

* * *

Like every other superhero in this universe, I, Boxboy, did indeed have a sidekick. However, unlike all the other sidekicks that possessed some kind of amazing power, Anything Man had no special power other than the power to be incredibly idiotic.

True he is my best mate, but he does have his moments.

"James! James! Look! It's snowing! AHAHAH SNOWING INDOORS! IT'S SNOWING, SNOWING, SNO- ouch… OUCH! JAMES! IT'S BURNING ME! AAAHH!"

Yes, Anything Man was talking about the wax falling from the candles in the great hall. He seemed to be the only one stupid enough to dance on hot wax.

"JAMES I'M GOING TO DIE! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?"

"Yes, Padfoot I was listening, I just wasn't listening."

"What?"

"LISTENING, SIRIUS, LISTENING."

"Oh, okay."

Remus leant over and whispered "You do realise that makes no sense?"

I nodded "But brainiac over there doesn't."

Lily was standing to my left. I mean sitting. And to the right. With her group of friends whom I nicknamed Bob and Bobina because my memory for names was atrocious, and they kind of looked alike. Despite the fact their hair colour, eye colour, body build, personality and height were different. They could be twins!

To get on Lily's good side I walked over to make polite chit-chat.

"Bob, Bobina, Lily." I said nodding to each of them. Lily was scowling. Sometimes that girl does such sexy things.

"What are you doing here, Potter?" Bobina was smiling at me… At least I think it was Bobina… Or was it Bob… Oh I don't know the one with brown hair.

"Making polit- I mean – I just came over to say hello to my fellow head, love, is that such a crime?"

"DON'T CALL ME-"

"JAMIE OH BUDDY OH PAL OH FRIEND OF MINE THERE'S SNOW IN MY HAIR CAN YOU GET IT OUT? Please?"

"Sirius, that isn't snow, that's wax?" Lily butted in, looking concerned for his health and her well being.

"It's not wax it's snow" he started babbling nervously. "I'LL SHOW YOU ALL! ONE DAY YOU WILL FIND THE SECRET SNOW SPACE IN THE HALL AND NO ONE WILL BELIEVE YOU AND THEN YOU'LL REGRET INSULTING ME!"

"We didn't insult you, Padfoot, mate."

"You didn't? Oh okay, Good Day," and with that he skipped off.

"Does he seem extra… _cheery_ today?"

"Mm yes but did you hear about what happened on the platform?" Said Bob.

"Yes," I answered.

"Isn't it horrible," said Lily

"I didn't hear about that, yes, do tell." I answered

"But you said you knew," said Lily.

"I do!" I retorted.

"Then you don't need an explanation," complained Lily

"BUT I WANT ONE!" I yelled.

"YOU HAVE TO EARN ONE!"

"BUT EARNING STUFF IS ANNOYING."

"THEN NO EXPLANATION."

"FINE, SEE IF I CARE!"

"I WILL!"

"WHAT, YOU'LL CARE?"

"NO YOU WILL."

"NO I WON'T YOU SAID YOU'D CARE!"

"BUT I DON'T CARE!"

"GOOD NEITHER DO I!"

"GOOD!"

"GOOD!"

"GREAT!"

"GREAT!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!"

"DANDY!"

"DANDY!"

"WONDERFUL!"

"WONDERFUL!"

"DINNER!"

"DINNER?"

"FOOD?"

"Food."

I sat back down slowly over to where Remus was. Sirius was pulling the Snowy wax out of his hair while Peter talked to Lily. Damn lucky rodent.

"You were really setting a fine example for the first years, Prongs." Whispered Remus as Gerald Huckabee was sorted into Hufflepuff. "Arguing Heads before school has even really started."

As per usual I was not really paying attention.

I mean people round here don't know what it's like to be a Superhero. In fact Sirius is the only one that knows because with the whole secret identity thing, it's hard.

(FLASH BACK)

"Hi I'm Anything Man!" Who ever this Sirius look alike is he isn't wearing a mask… unless the face of Sirius is meant to terrify our opponents.

"I'm (drum roll) BOX BOY!"

"Wow, really? I'm Sirius. Sirius Black -"

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KEEP YOUR IDENTITY SECRET!"

"What if I was an evil villain, huh? Anyway I told you my name so you have to tell me yours."

"No, it's a secret!"

"Aaww come on I told you my secret now you have to tell me yours!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Shut up or I'll tell everyone about the time you snuck into the girl dorms at night!"

A stunned gasping look struck Anything Sirius's face.

"ONLY JAMES KNOWS ABOUT THAT!"

Crud.

"YOU MUST KNOW JAMES! I know James he's a really nice guy, I'm kind of offended he told you that secret though."

What an idiot.

(END FLASHBACK)

"What happened on the station must have really affected his sense. Or what was left of his sense."

"What happened on the platform?"

"You don't know?"

"No, I don't"

"You honestly don't know?"

"NO!"

"AHAHAH YOU DON'T KNOW! HAHA!"

"Just tell me."

"Okay well Sirius was just stepping off the train when -"

"- YOU'RE TALKING TO ME BEHIND MY BACK!" Yelled Sirius once again ruining the moment.

"We weren't talking to you, you just entered the conversation."

"SO YOU WERE TALKING BEHIND ME! YOU ADMITED IT TO MY FACE!"

"But, you were in front of us, mate." Remus gave me a 'Crud' look.

"I DON'T CARE IF YOU WERE BELOW ME OR ABOVE ME YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT – Potatoes! Mashed potato! Potato mountain, OH POTATO CASTLE," Sirius got suddenly extremely distracted by the mass of potato that had appeared in the middle of the Gryffindor table.

Suddenly Padfoot disappeared from view, and under the table he went. All along the seats you could hear people screaming in disgust.

"OUCH!"

"That _was_ my foot!"

"Oh my gosh, someone just pinches my a-"

"AHAHA THAT TICKLES!"

"Ew, what just touched my leg?"

A head popped up somewhere and the bowl of potato disappeared and the yelling started again.

"YOWEE!"

"I must be sitting on a bug something just pinched my a-"

"OUCH!"

"Do you _mind_?"

Sirius appeared in his seat again, with a strangely mysteriously creepy grin upon his otherwise not-so-scary face. There was also a large piece of fluff in his hair. A rather large piece of fluff.

"Mate, there's fluff in your hair from crawling about under the table," I pointed out, getting rather irritated by the large fluff hanging in my face.

"W-what _are_ you on about hehe I wouldn't do such a thing!" The whole Gryffindor table was starring at him.

"Well I didn't!" He insisted.

"Yeah, you did. We all saw you."

"LIAR!" he threw a potato at my face, knocking me backwards and sending my best glasses flying in the direction of Lily. She ducked and they accidentally went flying all the way over towards the Slytherin table, whacking Snivellus in the back of his greasy bony skull.

"Bad luck Prongsie, you'll have to machine wash them now."

I waltzed over to where the greasy little garden-of-thorns was perched upon his little tuffet of wooden grass. In other words, I strutted over to where the annoying little prat was sitting at the far end of the Slytherin table with the tune of 'Staying Alive' helping my stride.

"Say, would you mind giving back my glasses Snivellus, you see I sort of need them to observe objects that are more than three inches in front of my face. But please, when you give them to me, make sure I've turned around. I was hoping to start the school year without having to see you."

In the distance I could hear the faint but distinctive thudding of a book against a werewolf's forehead. I was very accustomed to the sound.

It was indeed Remus thwacking his brand new edition of 'Hogwarts: The Yesteryear Experience' against his head. It was clear I had done something wrong. Nothing ever brought Remus to cause pain to himself other than the full moon and yours truly. What a great team we make. One is mesmerisingly bright and the other… mesmerisingly bright.

In the mean time, I could hear Snivellus' left eye pulsating and his left nostril flaring and his left lip twitching. Twas' an amusing sight in our first year but because of the current situation, I had to rely on memory.

"Why would I give them to you overly pretentious, high-flying, flowery swank of a la-di-da?"

"Okay, One: hand them over, they are mine and we are in the Great Hall which therefore means teachers. Two: stop stealing my home-made thesaurus and Three:..."

He had a little bag with him that he had obviously taken some stuff onto the train with. Feeling the full stare of Lily and hearing the giggling encouragement of some third years, or at least they were third years at some point in time in the their academic career. I took the bag from underneath the bench and much to his dismay his shrimpily long arms could not grab a hold me. He really should stop running his hand through his hair.

I proceeded by rummaging through his bag and began walking backwards to avoid him. I recognised my book as it was bright pink and opened the rest of the zip wide open, emptying the contents across the hall. Ink bottles and the likes decorated the surrounding. I call it James ala brilliant.

Snivellus was now running up and down the place collecting his belongings. I went back to him and snatched the now fogged up glasses from his midst.

"And that's number three."

Rather impressed with my first evil move of the year I placed the glasses upon the bridge of my nose and turned around to see –

"JAMES POTTER, WHAT ON _EARTH_ DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Ah, Professor McGonagall, my dearest pal. She seemed somewhat uptight this evening.

"Keeping tradition?" I asked with the upmost innocence, fluttering my eyelashes and hoping to escape with just a harsh yelling.

"KEEPING TRADITION? MR POTTER YOU STOLE ANOTHER STUDENTS BAG AND DISCARDED HIS VALUABLES. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?"

I thought about it long, and hard.

"I'm terribly sorry that he got in my-"

"IT'S COMPLETE!" came the hysterical shout from my somewhat disturbed best friend. He really should work on his hysterical shout. It frightens the ladies.

"What the…"

* * *

Author's Note: OOOH CLIFF HANGER! Okay, I'll justcalm down and apologise for the long gap. The author's decided to be anti-social for a very long time. Just because we couldn't be bothered basically. Anyway, enjoy this strange chapter and reveiw, because not only are we a worthwhile charity, it's a very uplifting feeling. And remember "We are all in this together!"... Merits for that guy who threw the bottle at Ben Lee.. i do love him but that's beside the point.. it's still funny.

Tuh tar All!

Love Shoey and Lolly


End file.
